Why Do Girls Flake? – How to Get Girls
Man, I used to hate flaky girls. Sometimes when I first started going out and meeting girls, I’d come home with a pocket full of phone numbers which made me think that I had absolutely killed it that night, and then in the end after a couple phone calls that weren’t answered, conversations that went flat, girls who didn’t show or canceled last minute, and girls that didn’t seem to remember me, they would all end up in the trash.
Getting a phone number is meaningless if you can’t pull it to one of the next levels of closing. It is just a means to an end. This drives guys crazy, and for a lot of us it doesn’t have anything to do with the woman. Flaky people (yes, I have met some guy friends who are flaky as much as, if not more so than girls) are just irritating–period.
So why do girls flake? Here are 10 reasons that I, personally, have seen in my experience:
1. She only gave you her number because she was drunk.
When you meet girls at bars, it’s easier to get their numbers (or even take them home), but it’s also more likely they’ll flake on you. That drool on her chin and overwhelming stench of alcohol perspiration could be the only reason she gave you her number, and then with sobriety came the ultimate buyer’s remorse.
Maybe she would have given you her number anyhow but doesn’t have any way of knowing because she honestly doesn’t remember. She might not even remember what you looked like or what you talked about. And she might add it up to being drunk even if that had nothing to do with it.
Bottom line–alcohol often equals flakes, so if you’re only meeting girls at bars, you will get your share of bogus numbers.
2. She sensed your confidence was off–
Some guys ruin their chances of getting that meet by being too needy when they call. They get it in their head that since the girl has shown some interest by coughing up her digits, they can let their guard down.
Others try to overcompensate for lack of confidence by being too cocky or seeking validation. Remember there is a fine line between being confident and being cocky.
Girls are keen observers and they pick up on a guy’s confidence issue quickly, which is why it’s one of the most important, if not THE MOST IMPORTANT thing to work on. A guy with no confidence, or even weak confidence, is a HUGE turn-off for girls.
2. She has a boyfriend or is in love with someone else–
Sometimes chicks will flake because they’re already in a relationship or are infatuated with some other guy. Maybe she got caught up in the moment and cheating seemed like a good idea, but after rolling the idea over a little, she started having second thoughts.
In the cheating case, you’re probably better off anyways.
3. She’s intimidated–
Did it ever occur to you girls might be intimidated by YOU? She might be insecure, you might be coming on too strong, or maybe your confidence makes her nervous…
4. She thinks you’re a player–
Some girls think all guys are players if they can be, but if you really lay the smooth guy approach on too thick you could be killing your own chances.
5. She’s not attracted to you enough–
If you don’t get her hot enough in the first meeting, there’s probably a 95% chance you’re not going to see her again. Attraction is the basis of seduction, and if you fail here, she just won’t have the incentive to see you again.
6. She didn’t feel enough rapport–
Sometimes, even when you do a good job getting a girl hot, a woman won’t come out to meet you because she didn’t feel enough of a connection. Unlike guys, who will sleep with anyone they’re vaguely attracted to, girls need a little something more.
7. Your game is incongruent–
If you’re new to game and have really been stepping outside the box to try new behaviors, you might be letting that go when you call, especially if you’ve been using alcohol as a crutch.
Once you set the tone about who you are, how you act, and the nature of the relationship, you’ve got to stay congruent. If not, the best case scenario is she’ll be confused–but it’s more likely the spark will just fizzle out.
8. Something better came along–
Girls get hit on all the time and basically have an unlimited number of options, and there’s always the chance one came along that was better. Maybe some other guy she already sleeps with called. Maybe she met someone guy she was more attracted to. Or maybe it’s not even a guy–just something more appealing and fun then going on a date with someone she doesn’t really know.
9. She is rude–
Let’s face it–some people in this world are just rude, and girls are no exceptions. Shitty people of both sexes exist out there. Some girls even go out and give guys their numbers because they WANT guys they never plan to sleep with chasing them around. It satisfies their ego and gives them something to talk about with
their friends.
No skin off your back–girls like this are bad news anyways.
10. She’s telling the truth–
She might just be telling the truth. Things do come up. Emergencies happen. Prior engagements slip the mind. A cancellation is not always a lie.
Whatever the reason for a flake, don’t take it personally and NEVER SHOW THAT IT MADE YOU UPSET OR DISAPPOINTED. If she’s the type of person who can’t even give meeting you a chance, she’s not worth your time. Some people in this world just aren’t worth knowing.
But never immediately assume the reasons are negative. As seen above, there are plenty of reasons that might have nothing to do with you. Tease her and give her a hard time–IN A PLAYFUL MANNER–and tell her she has to make up for it now.
Again–say this in a joking, playful manner. Call her on her bullshit but not in a way that makes it seem like you really care. If she’s interested, she’ll suggest another time to meet or at least take your bait. If not, oh well… Just remember, nobody gets them all.