Tell me if this sounds familiar to anyone:

You meet a girl.  You really, really like her.  You think that she could be the one.  So you take things slow and you try to be really respectful and nice, and show her that you care about her. Meanwhile she gives you a goodnight peck on the cheek when you drop her off.  After you drive off, she drives over to some guy’s house where she gets treated like crap and hooks up with him all night long.

If you’ve ever wondered why girls only like jerks, bad boys, player, etc.  this post might shed some light on the subject.

Well, the truth is women DON’T really like real jerks because jerks (or bad boys, players) are dishonest, emotionally manipulative, and tend to hurt women’s feelings.  However, the society has just equated the “Jerk” with guy who has skills with ladies, and the “nice guy” with a guy who hasno game.

It’s not attractive to jerk a woman around, and pretend you care about her more than you actually do, or not introduce a girl to your parents even after you’ve dated her for a year.  But these are never the things women mention when they talk about being a jerk.  They talk about things like being too busy to see a girl all the time, or having confidence to know what he wants.  Both of which are pillars of GOOD GAME, or just being a real guy.

Then they look at the “nice” guy and they say it’s unattractive to be “nice”, when really they mean it’s unattractive to be desperate, needy and BORING!!!  These things have nothing to do with how “nice” you are. They have to do with how good you are with girls.  The reason this whole “Nice” guy/ Jerk angle exists is because it gives guys an identity to break away from “Nice” guy without insinuating that you just suck with girls.

The problem is it leads guys to being assholes, when you don’t have to be an asshole to date hot women. You just have to improve your game like knowing what you want and not being afraid to speak your mind.

So the next time, someone wants to talk to you about being “nice”, just let your inner “Jerk” talk and tell them to shut the hell up.

Hey, guys, the weather is getting warmer and you know what that means.  Yes, it is going to be summer time soon, the peak season for people to date and hook-up.  Well, if you have not been going out and staying home and playing XBOX 360, shame on you.  (I am guilty of logging in many hours on the Modern Warfare 2)

What we need is a swift kick in our asses, sometimes physical but more spiritual and mental, to get us moving in right direction and get the internal fire going in our bellies.  So today I want to talk specifically to the guys who are having trouble with their motivation to go out.

I went through the same thing with traveling.  I’ve talked about doing it for years, read about it, even researched different cities I would want to visit, but I didn’t take action until recently and today, I want to share the 4 biggest things that helped me do that.

1.    FU%K Pride. Like Marcellus Wallace says in Pulp fiction, that sting you feel when you’re not good at something and it’s embarrassing and you’re worried about what people are going to think, is just pride messing with you.  Hey, you want to know a huge secret nobody tells you?  No one cares about you except yourself.  So when you think that people are thinking about you, they are actually thinking about themselves.  Remember the old say, “Everyone’s favorite subject is themselves”.  If you’re reading this you want to change your dating life so don’t let pride get in your way. I will be first one to admit that I needed help that is the first step in change.

2.    Make it as EASY as possible on yourself.   Begin with small easy stuff that you are comfortable with, like going to house parties with a group of people you know.  This will ease you in as well as make you seem more confident because you are applying the principle of situational confidence.  Go to your favorite bar or club or coffee shop and start off by conversation with the girls you HAVE to talk to, that means bartenders, waitresses, Baristas etc… Don’t think that you have to dive in head first into a bachelor party for a playmate in the beginning.

3.    Work on your fundamentals first.  The first thing that you should realize is that mastering the fundamentals of any skills set will make you better than 80% of guys who are using that skill set.  It’s the old 80/20 rule.  So when I had to start learning something, I make sure that I have firm grasp on the fundamentals first before moving to more complicated stuff.  Start out by updating your wardrobe, losing any weight you have to lose, and getting a newer haircut.  Also learn how to be social and talk to girls as well as other people and having an interesting life.

4.    Use baby steps. Don’t try to get too far ahead of yourself, either knowledge wise or application wise. Start out by saying “hi” to 5 women a day. Then try to keep the conversation going for 30 seconds, once you can do that.  Don’t try to run before you can run.  Pick 3 fundamental things first and work on them for a few weeks before moving onto next 3.  Within 6 months you will have all you fundamentals down solid.

Hope that helps you guys.  Now go out there and make it happen.

How important is it to kiss a girl when you first meet her? There are a couple ways of looking at it. The first: Does kissing a girl increase the likelihood of her returning my first call? From my experience and that of my friends, it seems to make no difference. That’s because kissing is really not a big deal in this culture, where girls will kiss a guy just because she is intoxicated and her friend is already hooked up with another guy. (But in Argentina, for example, the kiss is a big deal and probably would increase chances of a return call).

The fast kiss actually does two things: (1) it keeps you on task and (2) it makes the first date a lot more exciting.

When you’re talking to a girl and your goal is something vague like “build attraction,” what happens is you may overdo things like humor for the sake of being interesting and miss an opportunity. Instead of thinking of how ready she is to receive your mouth, you are wondering what your next awesome conversational piece will be.

But if your goal is to kiss her, you will do just enough humor or teasing or conversation until you get those subtle signs to progress things by touching and glancing at her lips instead of talking. You should be getting the kiss under the two hour mark, but 45-60 minutes is more ideal. (If your mind is saying “That’s crazy!” then you need to work either on your game or venue selection.)

If you don’t kiss her when you first meet, the most you will probably get on the first date is a makeout. Since it’s difficult to get the makeout out of the way early in the date, you have to wait until the end, and by then she will most likely not be prepared for doing much more. But if you did kiss her when you first meet, she is far more open to going past that. She is going on a date with a guy she already kissed because she wants to do more. Looking back I don’t think I had sex with any girl on the first date that I didn’t kiss beforehand.

Source: www.rooshv.com

Man, I used to hate flaky girls.  Sometimes when I first started going out and meeting girls, I’d come home with a pocket full of phone numbers which made me think that I had absolutely killed it that night, and then in the end after a couple phone calls that weren’t answered, conversations that went flat, girls who didn’t show or canceled last minute, and girls that didn’t seem to remember me, they would all end up in the trash.

Getting a phone number is meaningless if you can’t pull it to one of the next levels of closing.  It is just a means to an end.  This drives guys crazy, and for a lot of us it doesn’t have anything to do with the woman.  Flaky people (yes, I have met some guy friends who are flaky as much as, if not more so than girls) are just irritating–period.

So why do girls flake?  Here are 10 reasons that I, personally, have seen in my experience:

1.  She only gave you her number because she was drunk.

When you meet girls at bars, it’s easier to get their numbers (or even take them home), but it’s also more likely they’ll flake on you.  That drool on her chin and overwhelming stench of alcohol perspiration could be the only reason she gave you her number, and then with sobriety came the ultimate buyer’s remorse.

Maybe she would have given you her number anyhow but doesn’t have any way of knowing because she honestly doesn’t remember.  She might not even remember what you looked like or what you talked about.   And she might add it up to being drunk even if that had nothing to do with it.

Bottom line–alcohol often equals flakes, so if you’re only meeting girls at bars, you will get your share of bogus numbers.

2.  She sensed your confidence was off–

Some guys ruin their chances of getting that meet by being too needy when they call.  They get it in their head that since the girl has shown some interest by coughing up her digits, they can let their guard down.

Others try to overcompensate for lack of confidence by being too cocky or seeking validation.   Remember there is a fine line between being confident and being cocky.

Girls are keen observers and they pick up on a guy’s confidence issue quickly, which is why it’s one of the most important, if not THE MOST IMPORTANT thing to work on.  A guy with no confidence, or even weak confidence, is a HUGE turn-off for girls.

2.  She has a boyfriend or is in love with someone else–

Sometimes chicks will flake because they’re already in a relationship or are infatuated with some other guy.  Maybe she got caught up in the moment and cheating seemed like a good idea, but after rolling the idea over a little, she started having second thoughts.

In the cheating case, you’re probably better off anyways.

3.  She’s intimidated–

Did it ever occur to you girls might be intimidated by YOU?  She might be insecure, you might be coming on too strong, or maybe your confidence makes her nervous…
4.  She thinks you’re a player–

Some girls think all guys are players if they can be, but if you really lay the smooth guy approach on too thick you could be killing your own chances.

5.  She’s not attracted to you enough–

If you don’t get her hot enough in the first meeting, there’s probably a 95% chance you’re not going to see her again.   Attraction is the basis of seduction, and if you fail here, she just won’t have the incentive to see you again.

6.  She didn’t feel enough rapport–

Sometimes, even when you do a good job getting a girl hot, a woman won’t come out to meet you because she didn’t feel enough of a connection.  Unlike guys, who will sleep with anyone they’re vaguely attracted to, girls need a little something more.

7.  Your game is incongruent–

If you’re new to game and have really been stepping outside the box to try new behaviors, you might be letting that go when you call, especially if you’ve been using alcohol as a crutch.

Once you set the tone about who you are, how you act, and the nature of the relationship, you’ve got to stay congruent.  If not, the best case scenario is she’ll be confused–but it’s more likely the spark will just fizzle out.

8.  Something better came along–

Girls get hit on all the time and basically have an unlimited number of options, and there’s always the chance one came along that was better.  Maybe some other guy she already sleeps with called.  Maybe she met someone guy she was more attracted to.  Or maybe it’s not even a guy–just something more appealing and fun then going on a date with someone she doesn’t really know.

9.  She is rude–

Let’s face it–some people in this world are just rude, and girls are no exceptions.  Shitty people of both sexes exist out there.  Some girls even go out and give guys their numbers because they WANT guys they never plan to sleep with chasing them around.  It satisfies their ego and gives them something to talk about with
their friends.

No skin off your back–girls like this are bad news anyways.

10.  She’s telling the truth–

She might just be telling the truth.  Things do come up.  Emergencies happen.  Prior engagements slip the mind.  A cancellation is not always a lie.

Whatever the reason for a flake, don’t take it personally and NEVER SHOW THAT IT MADE YOU UPSET OR DISAPPOINTED.  If she’s the type of person who can’t even give meeting you a chance, she’s not worth your time.  Some people in this world just aren’t worth knowing.

But never immediately assume the reasons are negative.  As seen above, there are plenty of reasons that might have nothing to do with you.  Tease her and give her a hard time–IN A PLAYFUL MANNER–and tell her she has to make up for it now.

Again–say this in a joking, playful manner.  Call her on her bullshit but not in a way that makes it seem like you really care.  If she’s interested, she’ll suggest another time to meet or at least take your bait.  If not, oh well… Just remember, nobody gets them all.



Is it wrong to buy girl a drink at the bar?

Well, I have heard arguments from both sides (one being yes, the other being no, duh).   They both make pretty compelling arguments.  My personal philosophy is that you should do what naturally come to you.  If you want to buy her a drink, go ahead.

BUT, AND THIS IS A BIG BUT, if you should never buy her drink to buy her attention/affection.  There is a very fine and dangerous line between just buying her a drink and buying her a drink while expecting something in return.  When you are about do something or buy something for a girl, you should pause and ask your self this question:

“Why am I doing this?  Am I doing this to control this girl?  Or am I doing this so I can get something in return from her?”

If you are not sure, about the answers to those questions you should not be doing whatever you are about to do.

Now how about when you are out on a date with a girl?

Many women will offer to split the check on a beginning date.  Some will take offense and not see you again if you don’t pay for the whole check, even if they offer to pay part.  Many women are screening men out for cheapness.  Some women insist that a man let her share the cost. I’ve even had women insist on paying for a first or second date.  There is no consistency.
What do I tell guys?

Schedule things that are free (go to the zoo, wander around a park, visit a museum, etc.) Alternatively, choose dates that are inexpensive like coffee or drinks during happy hour, and pay for it all.  It shouldn’t cost more than $20.

If it goes well, you can then bounce to food, dessert, etc. … but by then you know you are doing fine and want more time with her.  Plus, bouncing helps with comfort.

I don’t recommend starting with dinner, since that means you have to pay and spend 1.5 hours with a girl who may turn out not to meet your standards in one way or another.  Plus you and her have to depend on each other for entertainment and conversation.  I recommend that you go somewhere where there is some other form of external entertainment (but never a movie).

You can also do a second date free or inexpensively. For example, take her for a hike, or cook for her at your place. Also, cheap ethnic dive restaurants work if you can sell them as the best tacos (or whatever) around.

Usually by the third date, many women (especially the more professional ones) will split the check with you and mean it when they offer (they’ll be more insistent.)

Keep in mind that it is better to be someone who gets girls through personality and game than someone who gets girls through status/money.  A cute gold digger is still a gold digger. Besides, when you get as many dates as we do, it is good to keep expenses down, especially early on with a particular girl.

In a relationship, I do believe we should both contribute somehow (assuming she has the means).  For instance, if she is a struggling undergrad, she might expect you to pay, since she may not have the means to contribute financially.  However, that does not prevent her from cooking dinner for you back at your or her place when you pay for the grocery.

I also don’t like the mindset that some women have that “the person who asks the other out pays,” because it is men doing the asking out. Take turns planning and paying for dates and I’m ok with it.  So if she asks to you buy her a shot (this is if you have been talking to her for more than 15 minutes), you can.  If you want to.  Just make sure you tell her, “Hey, I’m buying this round and you can get the next round.”

If you are thinking about getting back together with your ex girlfriend, then I think it is important to understand why it didn’t workout first time.   By doing so, we can avoid repeating same mistakes over.  Therefore, we must realize why the relationship was ended.

Why Couples Say Good-bye

Contrary to popular belief (yeah, I know), nothing lasts forever.  Couples break up all the time.   What is not usually known is the fact that guys and girls end relationships for different reasons.  It can be confusing to sort out the mind of the opposite sex.  Even when we are told something, we often feel there is more to the story or that the other person is out and out not being truthful about the reasons, so let’s be straight here.  If your better half has left you and handed you some lame excuse like, “It’s just not working out,” or “I need my space,” or “It’s not you, it’s me,” you have to decipher that vague speak and understand what went wrong on your own so you can repair it.

Not every situation is black and white, on the other hand, some are.  Sometimes one of the partners cheats and that represent enough of a punch in the gut to make the one who got hurt pick up and say bye-bye.

Let’s be straight here, too, if someone cheated, there were troubles long before the act of being unfaithful occurred.  If you’re not in a spot where you can pinpoint the exact reason, then you have to understand males and females and what causes them tick.

Why Girls Leave Their Guys

Girls leave for altogether different reasons than what guys think.  They are faithful to the end, until they stop feeling appreciated by their guys.  Guys tend to believe of some women as being high-maintenance because they are demanding and hunger for attention.  However, it’s not the attention they need.  It’s the belief that you treasure and appreciate everything they do like from the way she puts a little love note in your lunch to how she calls you at work to hear your voice.  This is why women who cheat, do it with guys who lavish them with attention AND appreciation for who they are and what they have to offer the world.

Don Juans and Casanovas use this tactics quite successfully to seduce married and partnered up women. They start first as “the friend who listens to the girl’s problems”. Then, the conversation becomes “how ungrateful” the man she is with is and how blind he is to all of her special qualities.  Ultimately, the Don Juan himself, is lavishing her with admiration and attention that she intensely desires and next thing you know, Don Juan is the new man in her life.

Let’s take a look at just a few popular reasons relationships end. This is not an complete list, but a sample to show you how every case boils down to the elements above:

• Cheating

Now, I can almost see you screaming, but what about trust, faithfulness and 101 other causes other than appreciation or admiration that someone would be upset about an affair?  Yes. There are other grounds and feelings. But, this is so critical, the CORE reason individual will leave after an affair is impression of unappreciated for a girl.

A woman is a lot more probable to NOT end a relationship or GO BACK after an affair, IF she believes her guy still NEEDS and WANTS her. There are thousands, if not millions of women that know their husband is having an affair and DO NOT LEAVE because they believe that their man appreciates and needs them at some level. I am NOT saying that the affair is morally right, or does not upset her. I am just illustrating that loyalty, honesty and faithfulness take a “back seat” to just a “little appreciation”.

Now, let’s look at this when a girl cheats on a man. The worst thing a girl can do after an affair is to try to lay blame on the guy. Sadly this is very, very common.  For example, the girl will say things like it was your fault because:

“You didn’t pay attention to me.”

“I was lonely.”

“Needed someone to talk to…”

This is like the princess coming out and crying “I do NOT admire you”.  A man wishes to feel like he is her knight in shining armor. Also, natural into a “man” is the need to be powerful (so he will be admired).

A woman would be much safer off NOT laying blame. Usually, the best approach is to explain what a mistake the cheating or affair was, because of how much MORE and BETTER of a guy her current husband or boyfriend is than the guy she had the affair with.

• Endless Arguing and Fights

This kills many relationships. And is a perfect representation of the two core reasons why lovers will leave.  Remember of how many arguments are really over “I do NOT feel appreciated.” And the “killer” of passion for the guy is that during and many times, long after the fight he feels like a piece of dung, a far cry from feeling like a “knight in shining armor”.

Ask any relationship therapist and one of the most frequent reasons guys give for exiting a relationship is “No matter what I did I couldn’t make her happy!” after so long of not being able to make his girl happy, he WILL give up and go with someone he feels HE CAN make happy.

And the reason given by most women:

“He doesn’t appreciate a thing I do!”

Do you see the pattern?  Now, there are different matters, such as trust, (which we will talk about) that may impact your relationship. He or she may even SAY they don’t trust you anymore and that may be right, but that is not the main reason they left or why they won’t get back together  People say, “I don’t trust you.” Because it is so much simpler to do that than actually sharing all the emotional baggage. People aren’t always clear in their feelings. Guys are less open than women. And both, guys and women are not transparent during heated arguments. Underneath that “I don’t trust you” is the sincere reason.

Now you guys understand why people break up.  If you are still planning on getting back together with an ex, then I urge you to look closely at why it didn’t workout first time around.  Why?  It is the most important question we can ask.

“Let’s just be friends”, are the most dreaded words in English language for nice guys.  I can already hear you guys saying, “but I really like this girl and she really likes me”.  Well, getting out of the friend zone is never an easy task.  It can be downright tricky, but that doesn’t mean it’s impossible.

There are a few things you can do to get yourself out of the friend zone but it’s important to remember that key is the prevention of landing in the friend zone in the first place.  Getting out of the friend zone is no easy task because it will take time, emotional toughness, and a bit of groundwork.  However, if you play your cards right you have pretty good chance of coming out on the winning in the end.

1.  Do not become a friend when you first meet a woman. When women label you as a “nice guy”, what they really mean that you are a beta male.  In addition, when women say some guys are “jerks” and “bad boys”, what they really mean those guys are alpha males.  The biggest difference between alpha and beta males is that alpha males know what they want and they will not compromise about it. On the other hand, beta males will compromise, or even worse, don’t know what they want.

Therefore, instead of acting like a woman’s buddy when you first meet her, act like a guy whom she would want to date. For example, if you are always there for her and if you treat her with kindness and respect, then you’ll probably end up in the friend zone. In order to prevent this, you should act in an aggressive (this means going for what you want) and sexual manner from the moment you meet a woman.

2. Accept Your Status As A Friend.  The first thing to do once you find yourself in the friend zone is to accept your status as a friend. This is such an important thing to do when you’re put in the friend zone. The reason why you should accept your status as a friend is because responding by acting hostile or depressed will only work against you. If you take rejection from a girl personally, you’re basically telling her you do believe you’re not good enough for her, which conveys a total lack of confidence. Any girl can tell you that low confidence is very unattractive.

You also have to remember that there are many reasons why a girl puts you in the friend zone that have nothing to do with you. She might be on a rebound from another relationship, she might have commitment issues, or she might be too busy with her life to date anyone. So you really shouldn’t take being put in the friend zone personally. The problem is that many guys take rejection very personally and end up breaking off all contact with the girl. This is the wrong thing to do for several reasons.

So instead of bristling up and acting upset when you’re put in the friend zone, try as hard as possible to be okay with being just a friend. It’s the only way you’ll ever get out of the friend zone, and believe it or not, being in the friend zone can actually be a good thing for you because you can actually learn about her as a person as well as meet her friends.

3.  The next step to getting out of the friend zone is to lay some groundwork. When a girl puts you in the friend zone, she passes you up and keeps her eyes open for other guys. If you stay around and keep pursuing her, you’ll come off as needy, pathetic, and maybe even creepy. So if she’s looking for other people to date, in order to level the playing field, you should be looking for other people to date too.

This does two important things.   It makes you less available to her as well as makes you more desirable in her eyes.  In addition, this will not only make her feel jealous, but it will also help you develop a more confident attitude about women.  And by dating other women, you will be able to see how your friend compares with the others, and realize what it is in her that really attracted you.

I cannot overemphasize the importance of dating other women was explained in the previous step. By dating other women, you are showing her she’s not that important to you.  It also shows her you don’t believe she’s too good for you. By showing her that other girls will happily date you, she’ll naturally be more interested in you (people simply want what they can’t have). All of these things will send a strong message that will make her rethink her decision to pass you up and put you in the friend zone.

4.  Next, remove your self from the friendship for some time. Stop hanging out with her, but instead, become a really busy guy who doesn’t have much time to hang out.   This should come naturally since you are dating other girls.  Stop calling her, but instead, let her call you and return her calls after a couple of days. Put simply, you should stop being the guy who is always there for her.

Then contact her after a period of not talking. After dating different women for a couple of months, you should then make a decision about your friend. You can either choose to remain friends or to try to develop a relationship. If you want to make your friendship more physical, then you should contact her.

When you do see her again, treat her like a woman.  You should start flirting with her more and eventually let her know you’d be interested in the possibility of dating her. Again, she will choose whether or not to put you in the friend zone again, but this time, you will have the odds stacked in your favor.

If you can’t get out of friend zone with her, don’t sweat it. You’ll have other dating prospects and can move onto the next girl without missing a beat.   Now go out there and break some hearts.

Today, we are going to talk about approaching girls, especially girls in a group.  It is rare to see a girl by herself, especially at bars and clubs.  If you do, observe an attractive ‘lone wolf’ when you are out, TALK TO HER NOW.

Girls are not socially forward.  Therefore, you will rarely see them traveling alone.  And if you do see it, there has to be a pretty good reason why she is out by herself, be that might be she is waiting for someone, or she wanted to blow off some steam really bad, or really horny.

But more than likely you will see girls traveling in packs.  I think the easiest dynamic is to approach groups of three.  Why?  Because in a group of three girls, each of them assumes a role.  They are a married girl (or engaged/in a relationship), a sober girl (or a ice queen), and a drunk girl.

It is usually the drunk girl, that is most open to approaches by guys, however, that assumption need to be verified by interactions by us after we approach then talking to the girls.

Another reason that a group of three is good is that when you are talking to the girl whom you are interested in, the other two can occupy each other.  This makes the dynamics of the situation much easier for us.

So here is the basics of approaching groups.

The first thing to understand is that approaching groups of people is not the only way to meet girls.

Most frequently you’ll be approaching groups in bars and clubs.

The most important thing when it comes to approaching groups is being loud enough to be heard by EVERYONE in the group. If you aren’t able to instantly capture everyone in the group’s attention, you may already be in trouble.

The next basic of approaching groups involves eye contact. You want to make sure to spread your eye contact throughout the group and not just give all of it to the girl you’re interested in…

After you get your loudness and eye contact down you need to focus on moving the group around you to make yourself the hub of conversation.  The overall idea of moving a group around is to make you the center of everyone’s attention. If you can get relaxed by either leaning against something or sitting down so much the better.

Once the group is reformed around you, make an attempt to make one comment to acknowledge everyone in the group. You don’t want to ignore anyone,  remember she’s known her friends longer than you have and are way more important to her.

After you isolate a girl, bring her back to her friends to “check in.”  This is really important. Before a girl leaves a club with you, she is going to talk to her friends, if just to tell them she’s leaving.  Also oftentimes the friends will come looking for you. So it’s better to go back and check in before they start to wonder. When you check in chat with the entire group for 5-10 minutes then take the girl back into isolation.

Always find out how the group knows each other and how they got there. This is important because it gives us a chance to gather vitally important information on relationship dynamics and logistics of the group.   If the girl you are interested in is the designated driver of her group, who has to go home to take care of her sick cat and get up early in the morning to make it to work, I am betting money that you will not able to take her home that night, it I were a gambling man which I am.

Here are two essential questions that we use to determine gather that information:

• “How Do You Guys All Know Each Other?” or some other question to establish the relationship between the members of the group, even if they’re all girls.

• “How did you get here?”  or “Do you have to work tomorrow?”  This is important for logistics. If she drove there by herself, she can leave by herself… If she was driven by a friend it gets more complicated. If she’s the driver, you’re screwed.  Plus, if she has to get up early in the morning for work, more than likely she won’t be going back to your place to watch “Wedding Crashers”.

Ok, that’s the basics of handling groups, which can separate men from the boys.  Now go out there and have fun with it.

Oh man, this picture of a herb doing what comes naturally is almost too gruesome to contemplate:

[Definition: 'Herb' - Also known as 'Choad', Very beta male or a male of human race without a pair of balls; a male who has become very feminine, even more so than females due to unfortunate circumstances and much brainwashing]

[For this post we have a guest appearance by the judges from 'American Idol']

Simon: Paula, your thoughts.

Paula: I think they look cute together. He’s different, he’s unique. I like him.

Simon: [rolls eyes] Randy?

Randy: Dawg, this herb is doing his thing.

Paula: The chin cradle shows real love. [starts to cry] What the world needs are more herbs like him.

Randy: [addressing supine herb] I’m feeling ya, dawg, but dawg, maybe you could, you know, tone it down a bit, you know what I mean dawg?

Simon: Well, I think this herb is dreadful. His puffy face, his soft plush body of a woman, his chipmunk cheeks… just horrible. If I wanted to see something soft and cuddly lay down in the fetal position and rest its noggin in a woman’s lap to be stroked and petted I would get her a fluffy bunny rabbit. The rabbit would probably have bigger balls.

Paula: Simon! That’s mean.

Randy: [to herb] You know, he’s got a point dawg. In the hood, guys like you would get turned upside down by our bitches for your pocket change.

Simon: Randy speaks for the hood about as much as I do.

Paula: [to herb] I think you look fine. You are doing what two people in love do.

Simon: [to Paula] But does he make your gina tingle?

Paula: Simon!

Randy: That’s a “No”, dawg! [Randy high fives Simon]

Simon: [to herb] Look, a word of advice. If you want this girl to stick around, you need to stop acting like a bowl of Jell-O. That means stop planting your face in her lap like a cat. Man up! Her face should be in your lap, nibbling your knob. Especially in public, for god’s sake!

Herb: [fat cheeks quivering with anger] Simon, you suck. I love her, and that’s all that matters. Not everyone has to fit into your alpha-beta categories!

Paula: You tell him, herb!

Simon: [herb's girlfriend crawls out from under the table by Simon's chair, wiping her mouth] I’m sorry, I was busy. What was that you were saying?

Ryan Seacrest: [to herb] Congratulations, you’re going to suicide watch, my friend!

***

There are only two ways a man can act like this herb without suffering the consequence of major beta heartbreak over and over again:

1. Date an Asian girl, or

2. Date women less attractive than himself.

For those of us who prefer to grab the brass ring and date good-looking girls who have options in the sexual market, nauseating herbitude of the type shown in this photo should be avoided as much as possible. At the very least you shouldn’t snuggle up like an albino Smurf into your girl’s lap in public.

So how to really impress a girl?  It seems like a tough question isn’t it? Well, the true art of impressing girls lies in the simple fact that they are not impressed if you are trying to impress them.  I know it seems very counter-intuitive.  But most guys tend to act or be like someone else just in order to impress girls.  And that’s just it.  If you are doing what every other guy is doing, then you just blend in not standing out.

Hold on.  I am not going to tell you to do magic trick at the bar.  Nor am I gonna be telling you to cash in your 401K to buy a shiny new Ferrari.  Honestly, you will be lucky go get a Ford Focus after last a few years in the market.

Ok.  Let’s really think about this.  I mean let’s really think about it.  What do we really need to impress girls?  Nice sports car?  If we really think about it, unless girls see you pulling up and parking or you wear your car keys around your neck, what kind of car drive is pretty much useless.  Plus, if you decided to drive to bars and clubs, you are creating more logistical problems for you, especially if you and the girl want to leave together.  So the car thing is not that important until later, like in dating stage.

What about money?  You can get bottle services and buy drinks for people right?  First about the bottle service.  The bottle service used to be for celebrities and A-listers.  Well, not any Joe Average with a few bucks can get them anywhere.  So that lost its specialness.  Plus, a lot of guys use bottle service as their handicap by sitting around by themselves, instead of mingling with people.  Only thing bottle service is good for is offering you a home base of operation where you can sit to take a break or place to bring girls back.

How about a really good job?  Well great jobs are nice but conversations about jobs and careers tend to be very logical.  And being logical and engaging her logical mind is last thing you want to do on Friday night at a bar.  Only way the job can help is if girls see you in action.   Therefore, you have be a bar/club owner, bartender, band member, bouncer, promoter or a celebrity for it to work.

So here is the secret.  Don’t try to impress girls.  Yes, there it is.  The best way to impress a girl is not to impress her. Now u might wondering how does this really work.  Well, when a lot of guys try to impress girls, they tend to become more show-offs.   Believe it or not, girls are not impressed by such tactics and would end up putting u in the “show off” or “fake” category.

Hey, I am not going to say that “Just Be Yourself”.  While it is not a complete bullshit, it is very confusing and vague advice that can hurt you more than help you unless you really understand its meaning.

The biggest thing that impress girls more than anything, even more than your physical looks, is your social status.  This is something that all famous people have.  This is only displayed by how other people react to you.  Interesting concept isn’t it?